Easier Said Than Done

Easier said than done...such is the advice from doctors to women. Women who are moms, employees, wives, business women, and/or (fill in the blanks) are told they should slow down, stop doing so much, delegate, or just stop? doing it all. Someone please tell me how you do that without adding to the stress you are trying to get rid of? Seriously, as a mom how do you just stop doing what you do and be okay with that especially when you live in house full of teenage boys and a husband who thinks he is, because everyone knows they really don't care if there are dishes in the sink that still have milk in them from the cereal they ate yesterday, or if there are wadded up socks in the couch cushions. Heck they don't even care if the socks they wear match (except for the husband maybe)! much less make it into the hamper that is less than a foot from where they removed them. I did ask them one time, "Doesn't this mess bother you? Wouldn't it embarrass you if someone came over and saw the house like this?" And the answer...? "Mmm.......no, not really." There you have it. But it bothers us doesn't it?

I have to have a 'procedure' done next week due to the fact that I am in perimenopause - another wonderful condition saved for women alone to experience and at my appointment last week my doctor started asking me how I was doing. On a side note: why do they call it a procedure? That would indicate moving forward from the root word 'proceed' and anything to do with menopause doesn't feel like moving forward to me! Especially when you're only in your early 40s! So there it was - the loaded question and I knew better than to answer it. The word out of my mouth should have been "fine" or "great" or even "pretty good" would have saved me. But I was having a weak moment, a lapse in judgment. Forgive me for being a little (ok maybe a lot) scattered lately - forgetting appointments and such, for doing too many things for this and that and whomever. But it is what it is and this is what it is:

I have a high school senior-Zach-who needs to be filling out college applications (or deciding if he is going to college, LOL!), I have two (Zach and Dan) who are awesome all-around athletes and are currently playing varsity football. The team just won the District Championship and they are now preparing to play in the State playoffs which will be played on Thanksgiving -of course -weekend (oh, both of them have been named All-District players for both Offense and Defense!). Daniel - who is a Junior was just inducted into the National Honor Society, Nathan-who is a Freshman is a percussionist in the high school band and has been since he was in 8th grade has just finished performing for two marching competitions which were out of town, all three of them have grade point averages from 3.4 to 3.6, Zach and Dan are both taking college classes offered through the high school, Nathan has started basketball season which Zach and Dan will play as soon as football is over. Ron (my husband) and I pastor a church but Ron also has to have a real job (those actually pay real money, LOL!) so guess who is the church secretary, treasurer, janitor, Children's Church Director, Worship Leader, and all around 'Joe the Plumber'? Any guesses? We just sponsored a FREE community Fall Festival with over 1000 people and gave away tons of candy, prizes, and bicycles. Now it's time to plan the kids Christmas program. That is what I should be doing right now...ordering something for that, LOL! Then there is my part in trying to make ends meet (I am a volunteer when it comes to a paycheck) so I have a home based business as a consultant for The Pampered Chef (anyone need to do some Christmas shopping?). Two of my kids are sick right now and had to have appointments this week that I had to reschedule because I forgot them last week. Then they also went to the orthodontist after that. Then I had an appointment after that to make sure I was healthy enough for the 'procedure'. Oh, and I forgot that I am supposed to be trying to go exercise 3 times a week and to lose weight and eat healthier - after all studies have shown these things aid in stress relief and alleviating the symptoms of depression! But I have lost 57 lbs! (maybe less after these last 2 weeks, LOL!)

I have a husband who does most of the cooking which is great but he doesn't clean up after himself or when he does do the dishes his definition of 'doing the dishes' doesn't include the rest of the kitchen such as wiping the counters or the sink, sweeping (oh, yes we also have two dogs who shed enough hair to make wigs for the follicularly challenged at least every 3 days), the trash, or cleaning off the table??? And as I said before no one cares if there is dust on the furniture or water spots on the mirror, toothpaste in the sink, whiskers on the counter, empty water bottles on the tables, or that there are 4 NON-WORKING refrigerators between my front room and deck (and we still don't have one that works right, LOL!).

So...she (my doctor....a WOMAN) tells me to stop cooking, stop cleaning, stop doing the laundry, stop helping my son with college applications, stop doing all the things at the church (apparently she thinks there are people waiting in line to volunteer) or to just put the church on hold?, and tell everyone it's all about me right now. After I left her office I felt more and more stressed by her advice. You see, it took me a long time to realize that it's not about me. It's about my Lord and Savior and He has entrusted me with this awesome family - these amazing kids and I think that all the wonderful things they are doing and have accomplished is in part because of what I have done for them. I know that on some level they have to be more responsible but they know how to cook and do basic laundry. They will be leaving my care soon enough and what I once thought of as a burden I now realize is a blessing and an honor. They are respectful not only of others but of me so I know they will respect their future wives. They are responsible-they stay involved in as many activities as they can and yet maintain good grades without any hounding from us. They are well-liked by their peers and their teachers and authorities; my time has become an investment that has begun to pay dividends. I don't think I can STOP just because they have reached a 'magic' age or because it's time for them to become men or because someone else thinks they will become a leech, forever sucking the life out of me if I don't push them out of the nest. How can they take what I have freely given them? Isn't that what Christ gave us....life? And everything we need to live that life with obedience and godliness? As His child how could I do less for mine?

So what do I stop doing? Do I make a list, close my eyes and play 'eenie, meenie, minie, mo'? I can't see a thing that I could choose. Or maybe I can't see a thing that I would choose to. I really do love my life, I adore my boys, and I am a better person when I am doing the things that God has called me to do which is all the above...maybe just a little more organized?

Scripture tells me that if I am weary or burdened I will find rest in Him. I don't see anywhere that it tells me just to rest! I, like Paul, neglect the most important even for the good despite my best intentions and then wonder why I become resentful, frazzled and freaked! My focus has become about my inabilities and my weaknesses which are all about me, instead of becoming about my joy and my strength who is magnified in my weakness - my God!

Blessed are the Focused!