Bubbles of Love

I am predominantly a shower person but when the cold weather hits, I hit the bathtub - mostly to warm up! Water as hot as I can get it, a liquid that wraps me in soft fragrant bubbles, and my favorite music. Soon my body is warm and my mind is relaxed.

I am lucky enough to have a Garden Tub with lots of room to comfortably sink down into the warmth and immerse every frigid limb. But tonight as I soak away the cares of this world, I feel something uncomfortable and unfamiliar in my side. It feels like I may be laying on something. I could have sworn my sanctuary was free from all rubber duckies!? Upon investigating I discover the source of my discomfort...it's actually me! Or my rib cage (I think, LOL!). It would seem I have dropped just enough extra padding in the right place to actually feel my rib against the unyielding slope of the bathtub. Wow! (While I don't know what the total amount is thus far-I go to the doctor tomorrow for a weigh-in; the first 6 pounds, after only 3 days, was a welcome surprise.)

While I find this sensation unfamiliar, I do know what it's like to feel desperate, discouraged, and depressed when it comes to dieting. Feeling hopeful? Not so much. Hope brings excitement and with excitement, optimism. But these feelings are soon eclipsed by the fear of being too hopeful. Can I find success on this, yet another trip around my mountain? And if not, can I find love for myself?

I think that's the crux of my struggle with moving my mountain, the steepest part of the climb. The truth that I can find love and acceptance apart from my peformance has eluded my heart even if it has penetrated my brain. But don't we tend to judge all relationships based on performance? They can be a friend only if they do or say the right things? I will love them only if they demonstrate their love first? Waiters are tipped according to the level of service they provide. Stores earn our business based on the conveniences and benefits they can offer. We even reward our children when they meet or exceed our expectations. It's no wonder we base our own worth on what we can do, what we have or who we know.

So what is the basis of my worth? Am I worth more than a number on the scale or a shrinking tag size? I know what Truth says. Truth says I am highly favored, greatly loved and wholly accepted through the greatest performance of all time - Jesus' work on the Cross. Now if only I could rest in this Truth as easily as I rest here - in this warm bubble bath...

He is jealous for me
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree
Bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy
When all of a sudden
I am unaware of these afflictions, eclipsed by Glory
And I realize just how beautiful You are
And how great Your affections are for me

Oh how He loves so, Oh how He loves us, How He loves us so